BlinkBlog

LOL.....Jefferson Davis High School.

Does Vanilla Funk swirl with the Chocolate Spunk?

This line from the story deserves an "oh, dear"

[quote]When Justin Heideman walks the hallways or sits in class taking notes, he does so without much fan fair.

Fun fact— “vanilla funk” is the odor of his gym locker.

That hunter green really is his color, it works perfectly with his skin and hair tones.

I know, R1. Montgomery also has a Robert E. Lee High School.

R10 That's what she calls him.

I love White bros with swag and soul

In his interview, he looks a lot like Johnny Rapid and like Project Runway alum Sam Donovan.

This must piss off Black people to no end.

A white person gets all this attention for doing what they've been doing forever.

I LOVE a white boy that can dance. Wonder what his background is.

Just watching that newscast makes me so glad I don’t live in Alabama. How do people do it? Ugh.

Am I racist in wondering if one of his parents or grandparents is black? I only learned Mariah Carey was black a couple of years ago.

BREAKING NEWS in Alabama, white kid is doing what we expect a black kid to do which we normally wouldn't care about but since he's white we'll do a big story on the news about it.

Mariah’s face is looking less white as she ages to me. I find that interesting.

His parents have disowned him.

If I rimmed that twink would it taste like vanilla with a hint of cinnamon?

Ask the head drum major, R20.

He's the next Tommy Tune.

He's very good, and it's very nice of him to make that viral video along with his band.

His girlfriend is cute. Montgomery is bad but not as terrible as the rest of that red state hellhole.

The Eminem of band drummers

Oh, boy! This won't end well. He's about to get shat on by tons of Twitter people I'm sure. He'll be called a "white savior." Poor kid. He's talented and adorable, though.

I don't know if he's much better than his black partners. They are all good. The pigeon toed one is distracting however.

Only white people think this is newsworthy. That kid had been leading that band in anonymity all this time -- but then comes the media. I certainly hope they don't encourage any foolishness.

It's not like he was menacing an old Native American man at the Nation's Capital in front of tv news cameras.

R29, why you got to be draggin’ On V. Funk’s parade? Damn.

He speaks in an "urban" dialect which sounds ridiculous coming from someone so lily-white.

“They call this twink Vanilla Funk”

He’s the Great White Trope

Nobody who goes to a black high school is lily white.

r33 He's the Aryan poster boy.

Nonsense. His bae is black. His posse is black.

Jeff Davis was majority white until about 20 years ago, when middle-class black people began moving into the area in larger numbers and uptight white people started putting their kids in private schools. It's majority black now but hardly a hood school. This is what a street a couple of blocks away looks like.

There’s more to being ‘lily white” than looks.

Sorry, he's the Aryan poster boy. Ebonics coming out of his mouth sounds ridiculous. And it's going to hurt him professionally.

How nice to see that 4chan is with us this afternoon.

It's a nice story but something about anyone dancing like that makes me cringe.

r41 fact of life. Real world, honey.

I'm sure he can code switch with the best of them.

Is he the only white girl in school?

I think he's cute. i like those Southern marching bands in general, and their tremendous spirit and enthusiasm.

A white drum major twink at a black Alabama high school? Well now I've seen everything!

A white kid who goes to a majority black school in Alabama cannot be an "Aryan poster boy." You're making a category mistake.

Is he our Uncle Bottom's nephew Joel's "friend?"

THIS YOUNG MAN HAS MARCHED HIS KEISTER RIGHT INTO MY HEART!

BLESSINGS,

BILL

I think he's the Wrigleyville Cumdump.

Vanilla Funk is probably what they call his ballsack

I keep reading this as “Vanilla Fudge.”

[quote] Vanilla Funk is probably what they call his ballsack

White boys have funky ballsacks for sure.

Why is this a big story? Does the media act like a white person with moves is something revolutionary?

The black guys with him March just as well.

This attention is solely because he’s white

Sigh. JSU’s “Jackson 5” DM’s have been marching like that for 50 years. Loads of high schools march like that in MS, LA, AL, and all up the Mississippi to St Louis. At any rate, I guess it’s good that marching band is getting some love.

It's nice how most of the YouTube comments from the Blacks are in awe and appreciation of him. He's "invited to the cookout," "run him a plate of greens and cornbread," "hope he goes to a HBCU," and many others. He's like the Teena Marie of drum majoring!

I don’t know, it almost seems like he’s their fetishized white little mascot, it would make for a great Blacks on Boys gangbang bukkake scenario.

He’s a hot twink. Pretty girlfriends. I do hope some black dudes have run a train on him though.

The replies here are why they hate us.

The way that this "news" story focuses exclusively on a white kid "acting black" while totally ignoring the many black people around him seems like a parody but it is in fact the state of the world in 2019. Pathetic and scary.

Gay as a summer breeze, and only into BBC.

[Quote]Ebonics coming out of his mouth sounds ridiculous. And it's going to hurt him professionally.

R40, when and where did you hear ebonics coming out of his mouth? In OP's video, Justin speaks in a Southern accent, which isn't even all that heavy. You're just trying to stir up racial bullshit on here, and you know it. Take your deplorable ass back to whatever Trumpish fuckhole you sprang from.

He's speaking urban. And pointing out that speaking in that dialect will not be beneficial to helping one advance professionally is reality, not racism.

He’s as cute as a button. Gosh, drum majoring sure has changed since my days.

Well I never in all my life!

Publicity only because he’s white.

Obvious closet cast and yes, he'd not have gotten any attention if he hadn't been white.

[Quote]He's speaking urban

He's NOT speaking urban.

The idea that this was deemed newsworthy is more evidence of the decline of American television news. The anchors seem completely shocked to learn that a white person could move like that. Here's an actual news flash. Some white people have rhythm. Some black people do not.

pretty fly for a white guy

The amount of black cock he takes helps loosen him up.

He'll go to Harvard, and become a Rhodes Scholar and soldier. Then he'll realize he's gay.

He's a hot little cutie with some amazing movies. And he's sweet and humble, too. He's got a bright future.

He's got moves.

I do not believe he's heterosexual for a nanosecond.

When he's moving like that he's fucking sexy as hell. Damn, brah!

Straight white guys just do not get into dance like that. It doesn't happen, Billy Elliott be damned.

R77 I'm sure he has some amazing lockerroom movies.

R82 He's 17. Don't even think about it.

R83 Someone's got a countdown clock on him already, I'm sure.

OK, context people. The "Oh, dear" in the written story. The obsession with the white kid acting black. The fawning (And more power to him, but he doesn't need a local news boost). The fact this is "news".

This is ABC 33/40 in Birmingham. Who owns it? Sinclair Nazi Broadcast Group.

Always find out who owns these stations. It'll all make sense then.

So where is he going to college? If this gets him a scholarship I’m all for it, the jocks and the band members are likely candidates for them, but I’m sure what he does isn’t recognized much and given financial support. At the very least DL should start a Twinks We Like Go Fund Me college page for him, I would contribute. That boy deserves some rich sugar daddy support.

R85 Easy to lift and spin, then.

YOU ALL OUTTA "BE" ASHAMEDED OF YOURSELFS GOING ABOUT "THIS" HERE YOUNGIN AND HIS GALLAVATIN' "WAYS", HE REMINDS ME OF MY BILLY WHO "WOULD" SHIMMY AND SHAKE "LIKE" THIS, A-JUMPIN AND A-HOLLERIN' LIKE "HE" FOUND A NICKEL "IN" A DIRT LOT. 'COURSE, "NOW" THAT HE'S PRIT-NEAR 65 "THE" CHURCH DON'T APPRECIATE IT "MUCH" NOW. BLESS BE

Are any of the prancing maidens white chicks?

Those ain’t no maidens.

[quote] I don’t know, it almost seems like he’s their fetishized white little mascot, it would make for a great Blacks on Boys gangbang bukkake scenario.

Thank you for your perspective, Senator Graham.

He is a kid living his life and doing something that clearly makes him happy. Even though he is perceived by others as going against the grain (sound familiar, hussies?) I am encouraged at any sign of racial harmony, especially in AL. His white peers are wearing blackface and gold chains at "jungle" or "hood" parties -- or meticulously planning the next school shooting.

Is he one of those new white boys with huge jiggling asses people are talking about on that other thread?

This kid is good but is he Prancing Elites material?

They were in the St. Patrick's Day parade earlier this year, and everyone missed it.

Do they do this in other countries?

America is so strange and sometimes wonderful.

no, marching band is a north american phenomenon

Jefferson Davis High School. They haven’t changed the name? Yeesh.

r99 not really, a little bit in Canada, but having been to the big marching band meet up in Victoria, all but maybe three or four of the two dozen or so schools attending were American. And they outclassed the Canadians to the point of embarrassment. No idea why it takes place in Victoria, but it does.

Side note, r98 video shows off Vanilla Funk's adorable little ass.

There’s a teen movie about this.

Who chose him as head/lead drum major? I don't see how he's better than the other guys.

Anyway, I'm glad to see boys/men being able to participate in this kind of stuff (usually reserved for the girls).

R95, I agree. It’s nice.

When people overseas see this, what do they think?

[quote]I don't see how he's better than the other guys.

They're all pretty amazing, and obv practice a lot, but he does hit everything a little bit harder, more consistently.

He honestly reminds me of those super-committed and -energetic Broadway dancers.

I'm sure it would vary, r107.

Europe: "see? Fascist nazis, just as we thought." China: "Americans can understand discipline after all?!? oh shit." Africa: "Dancing? Hold my beer." South America: "Stupid gringos." Australia: "Bwaaaaaahahaaaahaaaaaaaa!!!"

R100, I love when marching bands perform Tusk and Classical Gas.

R59, the comments to that video give me hope. Lovely and heartwarming.

They need to professionally record this and keep it in the Smithsonian. Amazing.

Blacks can speak Job Interview. It’s not just Ebonics, they’re bilingual.

He’s speaking southern. I love guys his height.

I read that as vanilla fuck.

Just another 'white savior'?

R107

I think that it is very cute.

And I love it!

Meh. I’ll stick with “Alex From Target” and “Damn Daniel”

White people getting famous for ripping off black people is hardly newsworthy. Has everyone in Alabama forgotten about Elvis, Eminem, etc??

There's something kind of frenzied and too intense about the dancing, it's unpleasant. Not just Vanilla, all of them.

Gawd at R98 - a kind donor must provide them better fitting uniforms. What a waste!

What nice strong thighs he must have.

He's either amazing at sex, or will be.

And he has a future as a dancer, but I wonder if hey has any intention of perusing such a career.

Best YouTube comment:

“His mom is definitely not putting raisins in her potato salad.”

R128, what does that mean?

I believe it reflects black preconceptions about the generally sorry state of white picnic food.

[quote]I love White bros with swag and soul

Go back to bed, ma. PLEASE.

Cute story, cool band.

I don't hear anything but a 'bama accent though. Some of you need to get out more.

Dear God forgive this prejudiced lot here who I am quite sure consider themselves the most liberal, inclusive, non judgemental people on the planet, but because the subject of their prejudice is a white southerner they think it's perfectly okay for them to show just how two faced & bigoted they really are underneath their very thin facade.

He should be a judge on RuPaul’s Drag Race

Doesn't the word vanilla imply something is boring?

He's done well on local news but when will he be on BBC?

R133 You sound insufferable

The lesson here is that he's hot and needs to get legal quickly.

Thank goodness for little boys, because little boys get bigger every day. . .

This straight up looks like a routine from Magic Mike. He’d make a killing as a stripper.

He’s applying to every college in Alabama except the University of Alabama. Too ambitious?

R141. You are right...straight up stripper routine.

I'm sure he's got powerful muscles but he's not ripped. Looks thick.

Took a while - but R141 and R242 perfectly summarizes the pertinent issues.

Things have certainly changed since I was in school almost 50 years ago. If any student had made moves like that at an official school event they would have been escorted away and probably expelled. Face it, many of their movements are overtly sexual looking.

Jeez, they're actually grabbing their dicks in this routine.

Lawd have mercy I need my smellin' salts. Someone help me to my faintin' couch, I'm feelin' the vapuhs comin' on.

It's just hip hop dancing. Lots of white guys do it. Only reason this guy got noticed is he's drum major for an otherwise black band. He's chosen to become the mascot and it worked out for him. Whatever.

How Elvis Presley of him.

Is Gary Clayton to old to play him in the movie of the week? Can Sandra Bullock play his mother who is struggling with addition, but only wants the best for her son? Is Beanie Feldstein available to play the fag hag best friend?

Good for him for having the guts to do this and good for the band for allowing him to be the leader.

R151 Gary can show that moment of confused joy when he's penetrated for the first time. I see a hilarious blooper reel coming!

Why does it take guts? This is quite mainstream in his milieu

[quote]Can Sandra Bullock play his mother who is struggling with addition

"Taylor, how did you pay for that new Beemer?"

"Do the math, momma, do the math!"

R 155 See it writes itself!

I hope he goes to a university and marches in their band.

Perhaps he'll appear on some really bad talent show (any of them, in other words) and have another 15 minutes.

I worry that he’s the next Alex from Target.

Has he ever flown on a private jet?

Maybe he should be called Vanilla Twinkle?

Bryan Singer already has his number and has offered him a role in his *ahem* "big comeback super hero flick". He's invited Vanilla Funk out for a weekend to discuss his future in the entertainment industry, and Vanilla Funk has accepted, stars in his eyes.

Whoever gets that hot ass is a very lucky man.

Just imagine his moves in bed

R162 He'll star as "Grasshopper", Spiderman's new crime-fighting bro. He and Tom will be caught doing some dirty dancing, clothing optional. Excelsior!

Assuming he does his own choreography.....hhmmnn.

[quote]I worry that he’s the next Alex from Target.

What happened to Alex from Target?

Wow - talent. Like JLo - he just stands out for his energy, crispness and charisma. Can try to define - but it’s just star power.

R170, he was a cute teen discovered on social media. Now he’s a bottom in gay porn.

This article forgot to mention that.

R171 Proof or it never happened.

He just lifts lots of weights now. I think he might be a Jesus freak, as that’s pretty popular nowadays.

He let his original IG account be taken over by some weird company “DTFHQ” that peddles young, hot, twinky social media boys. He probably made a few hundred thousand from that transaction. He posts from his secondary account now, below.

I liked him better as the cute twink Alex from Target.

That guy at R169 is just a tarted up baton twirler.

I might need more drum major penis in my life.

I thought baton twirling was for girls.

I call him [italic] Vanilla Fudge.

"That guy at [R169] is just a tarted up baton twirler."

Says the guy who needs a tweezer to twirl his penis

"I thought baton twirling was for girls."

Every time you think, you harm the world.

Besides, r183, most of those twirlers look like they are future DLers.

R173 Agreed, but some potential there. Helix could have had him doing a "10 inches or less" scene where he gets molested and fucked on his own checkout counter. Change "Target" to "Bullseye" and put him in the apron. Instant gold.

Hmm, but who would have been the perfect top for his debut?

What’s the latest on VF? Is their football team doing well enough to be in one of those bowl games that we might see VF’s doing his moves at a halftime show? Has he attained enough viral fame to be named grand marshal of the Rose Parade And strut down the Pasadena street button held high and whistle perched in his mouth?

After they win the game, VF gets invited into the lockerroom for some celebration bukkake, and which point they refer to him as Vanilla Spunk. This is after VF sucks off the MVP, of course.

R190 Way to motivate and support the team VF!

Vanilla Funk turned 18 yesterday. Happy Birthday Justin!

R192 Let the celebratory gang bang begin!

What’s his Chaturbate handle?

They call my crotch Fishy Funk.

You know that the band isn't very good and the "moves" aren't much.

Note that nobody came out to watch.

Which Bowl will he be performing at?

R197 He was going to be on 'Americas Got Talent' but ended up on stage at the Hustlaball instead. Hearing the crowd chant 'We got spirit' as he is railed on stage by his bandmates was very inspirational.

"You know that the band isn't very good and the "moves" aren't much."

R 196 showing his moves.

OMG. At r192 the band is playing The Jacksons "Torture." A minor hit that is nearly 40 years old.

"He is a white student leading a predominantly black band"—at Jefferson Davis High School! Gotta love the South.

But is he good enough for So You Think You Can Datalounge?

Is pigeon toe a stylistic choice or a handicap?

That boy has seen more BBC than a Doctor Who fan. I bet his band loves him until he's sore.

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